Beware of Pigs

 

Monster Pig
This will NOT be another evil pig story about my kid was ate by a pig or one bit him through the fence. It is however about the kind advice by a friend near Forks WA. Thankfully, this was NOT the pig that entered my friends home and bed. 

Larry, had been a WA. state logger and was unemployable due to forestry access cutbacks, so he became a tree planter. This occupation suited him immensely as he had the arms  of an Orangutang. Strength as well, not kidding! His arms were overlong for his body, reaching, simianlike almost to his knees. He didn’t even have to stoop to plant the digging tool into the soil.

So much for the intro. Larry and I sometimes got into scrapes in this very conservative and Republican area. He was also very much against live animal trapping and at times I often feared he would set his own out to take down the trappers.

Upon hearing about my animal misadventures he warned me about pigs. “Herb, just never do the pig farming.” Hhmm, WHY?

Larry lived in a trailer home and after smoking some weed he wakened to a dream of a dragon crushing him down and breathing foul odors into his face. So aroused, he flailed those long powerful arms and managed to push the dragon off his torso. As his brain cells finally congealed he realized that it was a PIG attempting to do what to his body?

He would chase that pig from one end of his poor trailer to the other, managing to destroy most of the interior. Larry was never the sort to go through the legal crap and seek compensation. He simply decided to take his rifle and off the critter right then and there.

I do believe he offered to share half of the pig to the neighbor who accepted the arrangement as opposed to the alternatives – especially, with a bad tempered neighbor holding a rifle and a dead pig carcass on his porch.

I doubt that I would have the strength that Larry showed but adrenaline is a very weird thing. Forewarned by this tale I never got into pigs. He also informed me how smart they were, testing the electric fence all the time with a whisker or two. The moment it was off, they were through.

My Cattle farming episode:
Skip to Sheep farming:
Bees: and a few other animal misadventures

 That goes with political entities as well. As I suggested Larry and I were both a bit left of center. Forks was a relic of the John Birch Society. So was Port Angeles. The two of us interrupted a James Watt celebration in Forks with my truck carrying banners of ‘Save Energy, Unplug the Watt’ or of that nature. We were chased through Joyce until we got to P.A. and could confront the two remaining. They wisely backed off. That was my fastest passage around Lake Crescent ever!
 ditchfork

(C) Herb Senft 2014

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