{"id":2025,"date":"2014-05-28T19:39:58","date_gmt":"2014-05-28T19:39:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/?page_id=2025"},"modified":"2014-11-26T17:06:35","modified_gmt":"2014-11-26T17:06:35","slug":"2025-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/2025-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Martha Stewart &#8211; a daily calander"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-2025-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Tom-Lehrer-The-Masochism-Tango.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Tom-Lehrer-The-Masochism-Tango.mp3\">http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Tom-Lehrer-The-Masochism-Tango.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"su-row\">\n<div class=\"su-column su-column-size-1-2\"><div class=\"su-column-inner su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\">\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-2026\" src=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/SIBUFFYM.jpg\" alt=\"SIBUFFYM\" width=\"87\" height=\"88\" \/><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<div class=\"su-column su-column-size-1-2\"><div class=\"su-column-inner su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\"><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">A Peek Inside Martha Stewart&#8217;s Gardening and Recipe Calendar. Authorship wisely unclaimed!<\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">April 1 &#8211; Catch up on gardening &#8212; sew leaves back onto trees. Do all the cooking for<strong> &#8216;<a title=\"Dinner on doomsday\" href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/?page_id=994\">the end of the world dinner<\/a>.&#8217;<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 2 &#8211; Take stray dog apart. Cook and make dog stock. Write book on Survival-ism and the harvesting of local food resources.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 3 &#8211; Buy Indian\/Pakistani carpets to support their children and the poor.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 4 &#8211; Drain water tank; refill with cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 5 &#8211; Lay Faberge egg.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 6 &#8211; Freshen air by sliding deodorant shoe inserts into heat pumps.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 7 &#8211; Use Ancestor.com to splice DNA from dinosaurs into my children.<br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">April 8 &#8211; A blank &#8211; what happened?<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 9 &#8211; Finish needle pointing colostomy cozy.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 10 &#8211; Organize spice rack by <em>genius<\/em> and phylum.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 11 &#8211; Attend workshop on obsessive-compulsive disorder. No notes, but renew from habit.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 12 &#8211; Replace Air Freshener in all my rooms in case I <em>dye<\/em> and am not found in a timely manner.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 13 &#8211; Address sympathy cards for all friends with dementia so they&#8217;ll be ready to be mailed the moment they know their death occurs.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 14 &#8211; Get new eyeglasses; grind lenses from beach glass.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 15\u00a0 &#8211; Fashion cat o&#8217; nine tails. Flog the gardener. Talk to I.R.S.<\/span> again.<br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 16 &#8211; Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in chocolate and vanilla.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 17 Harvest enemies. Place in crock pots. Remove air.<\/span> Sauerkraut them.<br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">April 18\u00a0 &#8211; Gild lilies &#8211; like the govt. does daily.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 19 &#8211; Dinner with Royal Family. Enjoy the Ritz crackers with chutney.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 20 -Read &#8220;Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,&#8221; Suggest to authors Ur anus as the next planet to investigate.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 21 &#8211; Visit crematorium. Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 22 &#8211; Visited gardener, whose bathtub to dust bath bathroom conversion, inspired me to go out and redesign the chicken pen.<br \/>\nApril 23 &#8211; My bird bread recipe now eliminates Sequim lavender. The omelets are much improved.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 24 &#8211; On Colonoscopy. I loved the Rite-Aid enema prescription so much I went in for a refill.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> April 25 &#8211; I<strong><a title=\"feng shui\" href=\"http:\/\/www.olypen.com\/bonsaiherb\/bindweed\/fengshui.html\"> Feng Shui&#8217;d<\/a><\/strong> the chicken pen and found unexpected buried cash in the rut-a-begga bed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/piggyride.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-2027\" src=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/piggyride.jpg\" alt=\"piggyride\" width=\"100\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt; color: #008000;\">Sometimes, men need to suck it up. Whether that\u2019s cleaning out the gutters, diving into a gnarly diaper for the first time, or getting that colon consolatory-scopy because they need to be done.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana,Geneva; font-size: 12pt;\"> I can do most of that on the CHEAP! Night scopes help on the latter.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Song was &#8216;Masochism Tango&#8217; by Tom Lehrer. I attended\u00a0 a few of his lectures and may admit to having been minutely infected &#8211; or activated by by his genius and sense of humor.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"su-row\">\n<div class=\"su-column su-column-size-1-2\"><div class=\"su-column-inner su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\">\u00a0<span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>All fun aside &#8230; I think she got a bum rap when other Wall street crooks got off free.\u00a0 She served her time and resumed her life. Moreover she remains interesting. <span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a title=\"Martha Stewart\" href=\"http:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/2013\/02\/28\/martha-stewart-modeling-career-photos_n_2783506.html#slide=2167691\">Check out this site of her early years<\/a><\/span><a title=\"Martha Stewart\" href=\"http:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/2013\/02\/28\/martha-stewart-modeling-career-photos_n_2783506.html#slide=2167691\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">. <\/span><\/a>Still has GREAT eyes!<\/strong><\/span> <\/div><\/div>\n<div class=\"su-column su-column-size-1-2\"><div class=\"su-column-inner su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\">\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/martha-stewart.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2299\" src=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/martha-stewart-197x300.jpg\" alt=\"martha stewart\" width=\"197\" height=\"300\" data-id=\"2299\" srcset=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/martha-stewart-197x300.jpg 197w, http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/martha-stewart.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 197px) 100vw, 197px\" \/><\/a> <\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; April 1 &#8211; Catch up on gardening &#8212; sew leaves back onto trees. Do all the cooking for &#8216;the end of the world dinner.&#8217; April 2 &#8211; Take stray dog apart. Cook and make dog stock. Write book on &hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/2025-2\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Martha Stewart - a daily calander<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Martha Stewart, calendar of Martha Stewart, garden things to do, parody of Martha Stewart, Martha Stewarts garden. 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