{"id":1530,"date":"2014-05-22T03:25:19","date_gmt":"2014-05-22T03:25:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/?page_id=1530"},"modified":"2014-11-20T12:29:54","modified_gmt":"2014-11-20T12:29:54","slug":"things-better-left-unsaid-unlearned","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/things-better-left-unsaid-unlearned\/","title":{"rendered":"Some Things are Better Left Unsaid or Unlearned"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-1530-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/john-prine-Hello-In-There.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/john-prine-Hello-In-There.mp3\">http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/john-prine-Hello-In-There.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>The Following lyrics are from Hall and Oates. the song, &#8216;Hello In There&#8217; is by John Prine.<\/p>\n<div class=\"su-row\">\n<div class=\"su-column su-column-size-1-2\"><div class=\"su-column-inner su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\"> <a href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/valliebwcrop.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1617\" src=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/valliebwcrop.jpg\" alt=\"vallieb&amp;wcrop\" width=\"233\" height=\"297\" \/><\/a> <\/div><\/div>\n<div class=\"su-column su-column-size-1-2\"><div class=\"su-column-inner su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\">\u00a0<span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">Today I needed them both, as I found some letters that revealed much that was unlikable from my own history. What\u2019s new to that?\u00a0<strong><a title=\"Some Things are Better Left Unsaid or Unlearned 2\" href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/?page_id=2217\"> A dark update from Ireland.<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">I had to edit the opening page to remove my father&#8217;s picture and only wish I had my friend to talk to. Vallie was as close to a sister I would ever have, and as she had lost both of her brothers, I became one. Her unexpected death, many years ago\u00a0 co-coincided to the month with my own medical crisis.<\/span><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">My family history research began in the late 1980\u2019s. I was interested in genealogy research because I could find NOTHING on my families past, yet some of this research led to interesting discoveries. Some are dark and hard to accept. This is a given. Parents who had former spouses\/lovers, infidelities, bastard children &#8211;\u00a0 all are painful revelations and major frustrations to say the least. We, their spawn swim after\u00a0 unanswered questions for decades, most often\u00a0 getting no response to family queries or from ancestry quests.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">Recently I came upon a few letters that cleared up a few things, but left me ajar.Turned out I was I bastard after all \u2026 at least as the church was concerned. My father would interpret the bastardy a lot farther &#8211;<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"> for a long, long time.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">At my age all of my mothers siblings are dead and I have few other relatives to communicate with. Mostly because they they were all unforgiving\u00a0German Catholics who viewed the cremation of my mothers remains as unforgivable. Same for her sister Rosie who couldn\u2019t give a damn. I so wish I had gotten to know this aunt better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>\u201cI feel like I could run away, looking at a darker day<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Oh I\u2019m pulling the shades away from my eyes<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>It\u2019s true the moody manners come and go<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>And it\u2019s better that you never know<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Some things are better left unsaid, some strings are better left undone<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some hearts are better left unbroken<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some lives are better left untouched, some lies are better off believed<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some words are better left unspoken<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>My ideas seem to frighten you, are you really that afraid to move?<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Oh I guess that it\u2019s your right to reason<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>I\u2019m still dealing with a force that\u2019s so strong<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>The force is stringing us along<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Some things are better left unsaid, some strings are better left undone<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some hearts are better left unbroken<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some lives are better left untouched, some lies are better off believed<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Find more similar lyrics on http:\/\/mp3lyrics.com\/1TXSome words are better left unspoken<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>You\u2019re livin\u2019 a lie\u2026But only on the outside<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some things are better left, some things are better left unsaid<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Some strings, some things are better left unsaid<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some lives are better, some things are better left unsaid<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some hearts are better, some things are better left unsaid<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <em>Some lies are better, some things are better left unsaid<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n<em><strong>Some things are better left, some things are better left unsaid &#8230;.<\/strong><br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">Perhaps when my head is screwed on again I will edit these letters in an appropriate manner. Today is not the time. My fathers usage of &#8216;whore&#8217; to my mother who supported him for much of his life and to his usage of the German equivalents of damn bastard or &#8216;Schweinhund&#8217; (very vile usage) to me remains unforgivable, as were his violent rages.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">FORGIVENESS<\/span> was something that even my High School counselors insisted I try. I finally found forgiveness in beating the crap out of him the last time he attacked me.** I was 17 and had spent two years at the Oakland YMCA\u00a0 upgrading my body. I held near every local record for physical tests.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">That was nothing compared to what I had learned from living in Polack (Vancouver), Jewish ( N.J) and Black neighborhoods in Oakland. I\u00a0 learned to fight dirty and tough, or to run faster. (Or as often, to adjust.) High hurdles indeed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">That explains my Track and Cross Country successes. I left home and never informed the school of my change of address. I was off to U.C.S.C. and my family no longer existed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">(C) Herb Senft 2014<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000; font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">When I pass on I hope to see Vallie and Oma &#8211; not to think they would be waiting, but I suspect theirs will be the loving hands that reach out to me once again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">As we grow older we accelerate the pace of loosing friends. Something I have not been dealing with very well, esp. when one dies a week after emailing me. DAMN, at least it was quick! <a title=\"Search for enlightenment\" href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/?page_id=2609\">My own search for enlightenment begins here.<\/a><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\"> Reminder: We should be grateful for those who still care about us.The older we get, the greater the need to cherish the friends we have remaining.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">I further suspect that these painful losses make one leery about making new friends. A sad confession on my part and the forgiveness issue remains a problem for me.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\"><strong><a title=\"Some Things are Better Left Unsaid or Unlearned 2\" href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/?page_id=2217\">Do read my sad follow-up from Ireland. <\/a>At least I didn&#8217;t end up in a damn Septic Tank.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Trebuchet MS,Geneva; font-size: 14pt;\">(C) Herb Senft 2014<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Following lyrics are from Hall and Oates. the song, &#8216;Hello In There&#8217; is by John Prine. My family history research began in the late 1980\u2019s. I was interested in genealogy research because I could find NOTHING on my families &hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/sweetgeodes.com\/senft\/things-better-left-unsaid-unlearned\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Some Things are Better Left Unsaid or Unlearned<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"genealogy lessons, German, catholic, forgiveness, friendship, on growing older, life lessons, aging, bastardy, unloving marriages, Herbert Senft, relatives\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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