. If you are a Rockaholic, you must meet a certain threshold. Keep score as some are worth extra points.
1. You identify and look at the rocks and geology rather than the flesh when watching R rated movies! (2) 😛
2. Your partner comments that your Erotica is misplaced in the rock tumbler.
3. You pull into every new road cut you see. 😛
4. Your sap runs higher when you stroke a well polished slab or sexy rock rather than a person! (2)
5. Vacation topics with friends are built around the rocks you brought home.
6. The house foundation has taken a slope to it for the weight of your rock display. 😛
7. You can pronounce “molybdenite” correctly on the first try.
8. Your bald head is often compared to Ayers rock. 😛
9. Speaking of polished and enlarged things. One rock club’s member belt buckle is six inches across. (2)
10. You have asked your local rock store to open a Drive-Through Window!
11. When New Ager’s dangle their crystals, you begin to salivate. 😛
12. You have a permanent bucket with tools in the trunk of your car. 😛
13. You have a bumper sticker saying. “I brake for rocks.”
14. Your PC screen saver features pictures or rocks.
14. You dating plan is to cleave to someone at the rock show.
15. Your pockets or washing machine always have pebbles or rocks in them. 😛
16. You have rolled a boulder down the hill trying to bounce it into the bed of your pickup (2) My friend Dumpster! 😛
17. You went to a rock festival thinking it was selling rocks.
18. At Halloween you give out rocks.
19. At the Golf course, you apologize every time your ball hits a boulder.
20.Your flower garden is replaced with a rock garden or Zen pebble garden. 😛
21.You give rocks, tumblers, or rock picks for Christmas.
22.You have ever been kicked out of a rockery for propositioning the inhabitants!
23. You belong to a rock club that uses rocks for center-pieces for the Christmas dinner.
24. You use your rock tools for personal hygiene! 😎
25. You go purchasing things at the Home Depot just to get another bucket.
26. When your friends say they’re going to Tucson, you assume it’ll be in February.
27. You think freaks of nature like druzzi are things to bring home and cherish! 😛
28. Worse yet you once believed a Druzzi referred to a religious cult.
29. For tax purposes you suggested to your club that it becomes a rock worshiping Church. “Church of Sweet Geodes,”
The club treasurer didn’t agree. 😛
30.You evaluate your employees on the Mhos scale.
31. You named your child Jewel, Metallica, Obsidian, Grit, Opal or Beryl.
32. Your passenger seat is more often filled with rock samples than a date! 🙁
33. If on that date you begin your conversation as being an expert on “chalcedony.”
34. You invite your date for a roll in the quarry which turns out to be very chippy indeed.
35. Worse yet you compliment her on her boulder sized figure.
36. You can find Quartzite on a map in less than five minutes.
37. Your bookshelf holds more rocks than books. 😛
38. You stand waiting by the sign that reads. “WATCH FOR FALLING ROCK.”
39. If your wife opens the dishwasher and yells your name.
40. You view your potential mate as how well he or she can motivate the wheelbarrow! 😛
41. You invite your In-laws to help rock hunt in rattlesnake country. ** 😛
42. In your divorce the custody battle is about the children and who gets Chalcedony and Obsidian!
43. Divorce, when mentioned to your lawyer is referred to as cleavaging.
44. Part of the problem being, she calls you Igneous, worse yet Sedimentary and an old fossil.
45. ** #41. You forgot to bring your snake bite kit.
46. You come home from the rock shop smelling like oil and your wife adds the Vinegar. 😛
47. Worse yet you begin enjoying the smell of the oil!
48.On a trip to Europe, you’re the only member who looks at the cathedral walls with a pocket magnifier and brings out the rock pick.
49. Regarding that rock filed bookshelf – most of the books are on rocks. 😛
50.Howlite, you really can pronounce chalcedony”correctly
51.The first thing you pack for your vacation is a chisel and a hammer, making plane travel difficult and Homeland Security nervous. 😛
52. Manicurist exclaims”Why honey chile, Ah neva done seen humpbacked and gritty calluses like these.”Whatever do you eva do?”
53. Grit, Obsidian and Chalcedony rebel and report you for child abuse for their names.
54. Argumentative rocks you own are timed out. ** 😛
55. You consider Rock Maps deep thrill reading. 😛
56. You compliment your partner’s polish and sheen.
57.You hang around Rock Shops hoping to snag a hunk or at least a chunky slab.
58. You sign your cards with conglomerately yours instead of sincerely or love.
59. When your wife stops calling you a “coach potato” and refers to you as sedimentary porphyry.
60.Campho-Pheque, Ben Gay and Momentum are your drugs of choice. 😛
61. Your kayak partner is left behind when you opt for the 5 gallon stash of beach agates.
62. You examine the rocks in driveways or at the airport landscaping. 😛
63 Your car has been a stranger to your garage for years. 😛
64. Airport security gives you an extra going over the underwear cushioned stones that scan as grenades. (2) 😛
65. The baggage and ticket handlers remember you and refuse to take your luggage. 😛
65. When you are told that you had to have a landfill permit should you store any MORE rocks on your property. 😛
66. Field trips have been held on your property.
67. Les Schwab exclaims that they have never seen such a tread separation as on my one-ton Toyota. “What the heck did you put in it?” Refer back to #16. 😛
68. Words like tumbling or vibratory turn out to be more used in the garage than in the bedroom. 😛
69. You suggest to the hotel management that their aquarium rocks should be upgraded with sparky quartz or better. 😛
70. Your on-line back statement chart of expenses show that rock purchases have now exceeded the food purchases.
71. Your date asks if you prefer dogs or cats and you respond– “I have a pet rock.” 😛
72. You then ask her if you could put a backpack on her dog.
73. You have created a rock and mineral base on your computer. 😛
74. The computer has a mineral or rock hounding screensaver.
75. You treat your rock saw like a classic car and wax it every month.
76. When a furniture leg breaks off you have a rock big enough to replace it. 😛
77. Your fascination with cleavage deals with how minerals break upon certain plains rather than in breastage displays.
78. Referring to #54. ** You begin to have conversations with them. Worse yet, the rocks begin to answer! 😛
79. Is that a scepter in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 😛
If you have any more additions please contact me.
Turns out that I was 71 proof. Those of you scoring above 40% seriously consider the Rockaholic’s Getaway. My next challenge.
Out of some + 85 points – I scored high enough to be 75 proof. I did not reveal all of my slabatious faults.
0-25 proof Nephrite wienie
25-60 proof—Calcified fossil
70-proof–You are a proud and deserving recipient of my Terminal Rockaholic award”You need salvation or a burial in an amethyst crypt. I did ask my daughter to start saving up for one. She replied, that after cremation she would find a shoebox sized one.
You may also be a candidate for my Pacific-Rimica’s Rockers Group.
(C) Herb Senft 